As my children are getting older, and I’m no longer planning to birth more children, while also entering perimenopause, there has been a bit of a question mark in my head. What’s next? What’s my purpose? Should I focus more on my career, or perhaps dive into the jobs of leisure? While going on a nice walk with friends can be fulfilling, there does leave a sort of hole—a hole that could feel like laziness if you didn’t already know that you were working your butt off to do a million things, none of which you feel like you are doing well enough.

So what, then, to do? I found Stoicism only this week, and while at first it seemed like something that emotionally unavailable men flocked to, I decided to look just a little deeper (seeing as how I love to indulge in self-improvement) and indeed found that it might just be the answer to my never-ending looping question: What is my purpose?

According to Stoic philosophy, the purpose of human life is to live in accordance with nature—nature being the universe going along its merry way. Although we can affect it in our small way, we cannot control nature as it barrels along in front of us. Instead, true fulfillment comes from cultivating inner virtue—wisdom to know what is in our control, courage to do what’s right even when it’s hard, truthfulness, and self-control. Rather than chasing pleasure, wealth, or recognition, we focus our energy on our own character, where we then find peace and meaning. In this view, purpose is not something to be discovered outside ourselves, but something we practice through how we live each day.